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The deadliest moment in a woman’s life is the instant she tells her husband she would like a divorce or she tells her boyfriend she wants to end the relationship. There is no way a woman can calculate a man’s reaction to a divorce request. This is why this moment should be carefully planned. A woman should never tell her mate that she wants to end the affair or marriage unless she is properly prepared. She should be prepared to flee. She should be prepared for any eventuality. If you are a woman, once you make the decision to leave, you must conduct yourself as if you are a general of an army. Ask yourself these questions: What will I need to do if he turns ugly, if he refuses the divorce, if he refuses to leave the house, if he begins to harass me at work? No woman should be so foolish as to think she can end a relationship without battle scars. While you are at work or on the bus or elsewhere, begin to jot down notes. Ask yourself what important papers you will need if you have to leave the state. Forget these foolish notions: I should not have to leave my home. He has no right to bother me. I’m a citizen; I have a right to live wherever I want.
All of these ideas are true, but the bottom line is that a restraining order or a stalking order cannot save your life if your husband or boyfriend kicks in your door or climbs in your window and kills you. You must be prepared to protect yourself. It has been demonstrated time and time again that a woman cannot depend upon the police for help (see Mrs. Crystal Brame and Mrs. Diane Hall). She cannot depend upon her employer for help. She cannot depend upon her family for help. There are cases in this book in which women were killed in front of police, on the job, and in their family’s home. You will read case after case in which the police said there was nothing they could do (see Mrs. Machekia Franklin).
For years prosecutors said that there was nothing they could do about women being abused or stalked. There are cases in which police returned the man’s guns (see Mrs. Kathleen Cauley), ignoring the woman’s cry for help. We mean no disrespect to police officers* because many are valiant men, but women have died calling the police. The dichotomy that exists between a terrified woman and the police is that many police officers identify with the husband or boyfriend; this is especially true of older men and officers in rural areas (see Lori Michelkamp). They look at a situation of domestic violence and think, “Oh well, Johnny just needs to cool off. She probably pissed him off. All he needs to do is go get a drink and he’ll feel better and they will kiss and make up.” You must remember that most police officers are men some of them beat or kill their wives (see Mrs. Vickie Barton, 40, of Ohio; Susan Louis Fyock of Pennsylvania; Sonya Ivanoff, 19, of Alaska; Cara Knotts, 20, of California). The same goes for legislators. Available at www.touchedbythelightliteracyprogram.com email yithril11 @netzero.net